Somehow the same thing has happened to Colombia. Colombia has awful food. I don't mean that good food can't be had here, of course--Colombia, after all, is a place where almost anything pleasurable that you put into your body can be had. I mean that the typical, day-to-day food of Colombia tastes a lot worse than the typical food of any other place I´ve ever been to or heard about.
In the life of the university, you will meet tons of people whose main goal in life is to show that everyone is equal in every way. There's a little of that in all of us, and I can feel it clammoring inside of me "Who are you to carry your imperialist, white male standards afar to these simple jungle folk?!"
In my defense, I call to the stand my principle witness...the empanada!
Here is the empanada in his natural habitat--Argentina:
Here is the changeling that masquareades as the empanada here in Colombia:
The Colombian varietal, as you can see, is fried in a thick, yellow batter. If the military put empanadas in MRI kits, it might taste better than the empanada that a Colombian makes even with time and talent at his leisure.
The empanada isn't all. It's merely a symbol for the atrocities that go on in kitchens across Colombia. The bread is not very good. Lots of the food is fried, but not in the endearing Southern way. In fact, the best way to understand it is to imagine an Old Country Buffet, but with a smaller selection and you can't get very much food at one time.
I call my final witness. This is a food Colombians are very proud of and that comes with lots of dishes all the time. Take the stand, Mr. Arepa!
How do I explain the arepa? How do Colombians explain away the arepa?!Have you ever been eating cornbread, and thought, "Wouldn't it be nice if this cornbread were completely flattened, and flavorless?" Probably you have never thought this, but at some point a Colombian did and the idea spread like wildfire across this land of emeralds and beautiful women.
At first when I got the arepa, I assumed there had been some mistake. When I saw Neil and Ryan got the same thing, I thought someone must be mad at us. Fine, we'll take our business elsewhere, I thought. But little did I suspect the arepa was lurking as a sidedish in every corner of Colombia. It literally has no flavor, and it has a crumbly texture. You might think, "Fine, but I bet they put stuff on it. Right there in the picture is a piece of good'looking cheese." Not so. I don't know what kind of cheese it is, or why the recipe is widely known, but it is also crumbly and tasteless. That crappy colombian cheese on an arepa is the blind leading the blind.
Hahaha oh goodness... do you think maybe it has something to do with the fact that you're American eating traditional colombian food? Or that other cultures place emphasis on things like textures more than we do in America? (i.e. see Chinese food... real chinese food)
My mother craves these things when she is away. I am personally not crazy about the arepas, but my cousins love them. What about all the plaintains? or other fruit abroad? And the fried pork or the red snapper? I understand where you are coming from, but I really feel this post is a diservice to Colombian food. There really is some good stuff out there! (i.e. See No Reservations episode on Colombian food)
the food here is probably worse than Russia. if you can even believe that.
the three pictures definitely decline in appeal as you scroll down the page.
plaintains in colombia are way worse than plaintains in puerto rico. my grandmother was from puerto rico so i have some experience there. the fruit is good, but how can you really mess up fruit? every part of their food that colombians have some bearing on is bad, i should say. if there are delicious mangos, that's neither here nor there.
the trout is good. but what colombian eats trout every day?
I'm Colombian, the arepa that you eat, is called "arepa paisa", is flavorless and crunchy but is designed to put meat, chicken or a "chorizo" (a BIG handmade sausage) on the top, also are many types of arepas, some are sweet and tasty, others are salty and filled with "queso doble crema" (double cream cheese) that is a very tasty cheese and the texture is very soft.
Maybe you don't have too much luck with the food this time