Everyone in Cartagena is my friend. I can tell, because when I walk down the street, everyone says, "Amigo!" and asks me for things that you would only demand from someone you were really, really good friends with. Things like money and milk. They also offer me things you would only offer your really, really good friend. Things like cocaine and marijuana. On one street corner, the whole time I carried out a transaction at a shop selling beer, a tall man stood right next to me repeating, "I've got everything, my friend. I'm the boss" in English. He said it forty times.
Here is a screenplay of this man's pitch actually working...
Lewis: hello, I'd like to buy two beers.
Shopkeeper: Certainly, let me fumble for change for five minutes.
The Boss: I've got everything. I'm the boss.
Lewis: Sorry, I'm not interested.
The Boss: I've got everything. I'm the boss.
Lewis: Sorry, I'm not itnerested.
The Bos: I've got everything. I'm the boss.
Lewis: You make a strong case, sir. That no one can resist. Now I'm looking to buy every type of drug available in Colombia.
The Boss: I've got everything.
Lewis: Hmmm. That's enticing. But I have a stipulation, and it's that I only buy drugs directly from the boss.
The Boss: I'm the boss.
Lewis: So, what you're saying is that you have everything, and you are also the boss. Both of my preconditions for buying drugs are satisfied. Give me all the drugs you've got!
I believe he was inspired by Havoc's I'm the Boss.
no one offers me cocaine - in lititz, or in pittsburgh. maybe i should start looking somewhere else for friends...